I was just recently diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome. More specifically full-blown Tourette Syndrome. The full-blown part (which sounds decidedly un-clinical to me) means that ADHD and OCD are along for the ride as well. According to the neurologist, I’m the oldest undiagnosed case he’s ever seen or heard of.
To be clear, I don’t randomly bust out with cuss-words…well, not without meaning to anyhow. That’s actually a disorder called coprolalia. My deal is physical and auditory ticks, as well as significant obsessive-compulsive behavior…and of course the ADHD thing.
The thing is, I’ve wrestled with this my entire life. I’ve always known there was something different about how my brain works and why I act the way I do, but I could never explain it…could never really put it into words what I was feeling/experiencing other than I’m struggling. Yet, in my 39 years on the planet, I’ve made my way.
I’m not going to lie, hearing the words come out of the Doc’s mouth was a bit like a kick in the nuts. It’s heavy shit to suddenly have the answer for the millions of confusing/frustrating/painful times I’ve found myself, head in hands asking…why? But it also explains why I’m as passionate (translated: obsessed) as I am about the outdoors.
So, in the days since, I’ve made a decision. My past is what it is and I’m proud and blessed to be where I am now and have the beautiful wife and kids I do. In the end, the only thing that’s changed is that, looking ahead, I now know the biggest challenge I’ll be dealing with.
I’ve got two words for 2012: bring it.